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Parents Are On The Hot Seat

It is the parents of high school student-athletes who influence student-athletes’ decisions about recruiting.

The student-athlete does not have any money, therefore they are dependent on their parents to make spending decisions related to recruiting.

Is that money being spent wisely?

In most cases the money is being spent on recruiting based on the information parents have.

Parents are spending money sending their kids to exclusive travel and club teams, which is the norm these days.

In the modern day era of recruiting it is almost like parents are throwing all their money up in the air and hoping it lands in the right places.

There is no strategy, rhyme or reason to college recruiting spending on behalf of the parents.

parents-1If it costs $1,500 to play on a club or travel team parents will pay believing it will lead to their son or daughter getting one step closer to a college scholarship.

There are some parents in the high school sports community who believe money trumps common sense and intelligence.

The student-athlete consistently maintains the privilege of the duel title that comes with a bullseye on their backs.

The student-athlete has a magnifying glass on them every single day as they walk into school.

The student-athlete is being judged by what they do in the classroom on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. The student-athlete is also judged, scrutinized, and criticized on a weekly basis based on athletic performance.

Pressure is an understatement for many student-athletes on a yearly basis.

The pressure builds as their athletic talent grows and improves. The greater the student-athlete becomes athletically, the more pressure of having to carry around that bullseye like a heavy anchor on their backs. It’s enormous.

The last thing any high school student-athlete wants to do is to deal with the pressures of recruiting.

The parents who know the ways of the world generally accept the responsibility of recruiting and assist their sons and daughters with the aspect of the challenges, confusion, and the worry of recruiting.

Have you ever watched when they pick the lottery numbers? Those ping pong balls bouncing and floating around in the air?

That’s what recruiting is in the eyes of parents. They don’t know exactly what’s going to happen. Just like choosing lottery numbers; it’s all a guessing game.

The parents are not clear when it comes to recruiting strategies.

They cannot decide how to allocate their money or time, so many parents struggle with the confusing aspects of the dangerously long college recruiting process.

The tug of war between high school coaches and parents has lasted longer than any war known to mankind.

For as long as there’s been a recruiting process parents and high school coaches have struggled to come to terms with the outcome.

The parents believe that they have an unchallenged voice in the recruiting process. Are constantly with verbal irregularity expressing their displeasure with many of the moves and strategies the high school coach makes.

Constant second-guessing the high school coach has caused years of irreversible friction and long-lasting distrust between high school coaches and parents.

parents-2Many brilliant high school coaches have left the game of coaching publicly stating for personal reasons or for family reasons, but we all know the reasons are because of their dislike of many idiotic parents.

Gossip among parents at games is a major-league distraction that can be more confusing than trying to set up a desktop computer for the first time.

Swirling around are tons of verbal information from one parent to the next. Parents believe what they want to believe when it comes to recruiting and, in most cases, the information they are receiving from other parents is wrong.

Parents of student-athletes for generations have their minds set on exactly how they want the college recruiting process to work for them.

The problem with their theory of recruiting is that it never goes as planned. No one ever gets exactly what they want unless you are in the 1% of the privileged student-athletes.

Those highly-coveted high school student-athletes get to pick and choose what college programs they want to play for. They are that privileged.

Parents believe their son or daughter deserves privileges as well, but they fail to realize they are in the 99% category and virtually irrelevant in the eyes of college coaches.

“The parents are sitting on the hot seat and it is beginning to boil.”


Recruiting is becoming stagnant and is slowing down with the lack of interest or no interest at all from college coaches.

Over the course of a high school athletic career, increasing numbers of parents have shelled out thousands of dollars, sometimes enough money for a down payment on a new house or a car. With those high-priced ticket items you’re getting something in return right away, but with recruiting the return on investment may never come.

The recruiting process now becomes a boiling crisis. The parents’ anger begins to grow. The student-athlete is becoming more stressed with the potential that their athletic career could end at the conclusion of senior year.

The recruiting process is not for the privileged. College coaches only care about those student-athletes who can play.

College coaches are concerned with good grades and superior athletic ability, but I am sure many of you already know that.

Recruiting can be a humbling experience for those who are involved. It is completely different than signing up and playing on the high school team or paying your money to become a member of a travel team.

The parents who claim to be the mastermind behind the recruiting process now realize that failure is becoming a growing option and they have no control over it.

Overwhelming numbers of parents believe they are doing the right things when it comes to the recruiting process.

Sadly, there are increasingly large numbers of parents who are not doing the right things when it comes to recruiting. Mistakes are constantly being made and sometimes these mistakes can be fatal.

Critical errors in recruiting are going to cost student-athletes valuable time.

The common causes of recruiting failure is procrastination. Procrastination is, in my opinion, the number one killer of the entire recruiting process. Sometimes student-athletes and parents do not take serious action towards recruiting until the senior year of high school and by then it could almost be too late.

I have had countless conversations with uneducated parents on the strategies of recruiting.

I don’t totally blame the parents because you if you don’t have information, then you don’t know exactly what to do.

The conversation is mainly frustration and confusion on their part. They didn’t understand the rules of recruiting.

They weren’t clear on exactly what to do and many parents become very frustrated. They relied heavily on the high school coach. or too much focus was put on travel teams. All of these strategies seemed worthy, valuable, and useful at the time but eventually failed miserably most of the time.

The major problem with the recruiting process is that the strategies are outdated.

The old broken-down strategies of recruiting are where parents are stuck believing these strategies are effective.

Clearly, the parents did not get the memo when it came to the new strategies of recruiting.

Vast numbers of high school student-athletes are ending up at college programs beneath their athletic ability.

Many college programs are getting superstar high school student-athletes and are surprised that these players fell into their laps.

An increasing headache.

A nightmare.

A bad dream.

Did we do enough?

Did we wait too late?



Total frustration.

These are some of the thoughts and catch phrases that are swirling around in the brains of parents about recruiting.

The blame game comes to mind in the weaknesses of those parents who struggle to figure out recruiting.

There’re some student-athletes who are extremely talented and deserve all the athletic recognition. Unfortunately, grades play a huge factor in being invisible to college coaches.

I have seen it happen for a very long time where the talented forgo academics and end up either never attending college or going to a junior college that is so far away from home they can’t even find it on the map.

I often wonder why parents delay taking action in the recruiting process. The conclusion is they believe their son or daughter is a superstar and that recruiting should come to them.

They sit back and wait for the phone calls from college coaches or emails or maybe text messages that are never going to come from these coaches because parents believe they deserve them.

Part of the reason is participation at club events and tournaments, where they are competing against other student athletes who are no different than their son or daughter and believing they are just as talented and should receive automatic attention from college programs.

The parents believe that recruiting should come to them so they sit back and wait and when that action does not arrive they’re confused to the reasons why.

Club events can poison the thinking of parents who believe their son or daughter is deserving of the recognition from the TV schools.

You cannot compare one student-athlete to another. It is wrong to place student-athletes under such a microscope of comparison.  It is not fair and parents will only become blinded at the results they think they deserve.

“The hot seat of the recruiting process that parents are sitting on is about to blow up at any moment.”


The college recruiting process is on a path of destruction and the course, though mapped out, has now run off course just like those knuckleheads from Gilligan’s Island.

Recruiting is expensive, there’s no way around that. Some parents refuse to spend money and that’s their choice. The parents who refuse to spend the money and rely on others to handle aspects of recruiting is like giving the keys to the front door of your home to a stranger.

Those parents who participate in the recruiting process by putting thousands of dollars into it are totally engaged in the process and the outcome possibly is favorable.

The best advice I have about recruiting is to begin the process early. Build relationships with college coaches early and often. It’s not enough to just be at a tournament or camp hoping to be seen.

The recruiting process is unlike any other process; it is harder than finding a job.

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